Watching a clip from Iron Man 2 gave me an idea for a poll. If you were all alone guarding a high security instalation, which of these Hollywood legends would you least like to be faced with?
Scarlet Johannsen, aka Black Widow from Iron Man 2
Charlize Theron, aka AeonFlux from Aeon Flux
Kate Beckinsale, aka Selene from Underworld
Summer Glau, aka River from Serenity
Angeline Jolie, aka Lara Croft from Lara Croft -Tomb Raider
Jennifer Garner, aka Elektra from Elecktra
I know, it's a nightmare scenario really.
Ooops I meant Porridge!
and despite Jolie's dad being in Midnight Cowboy she doesn't come close.
More importantly he was in "Porridge."
I've gone for Beckinsale, mainly because her dad was in Rising Damp. She's also incredible.
I went for Kate Beckinsale, but my preference I think would have been Michelle Pfeiffer as Catwoman.
Good poll though.
Hmm good question…maybe it makes her both? :D Or, rather, maybe it did, because Kate Beckinsale has now drawn level! Not that I am complaining; if i had two votes Scarlet & Kate would get them!
…and in particular I had a good laugh at the idea of Faith/Eliza beating Scarlet/Widow
I don't think Faith beating Natasha would be an unlikely outcome. But I'm basing that more on the characters, and I get the feeling you're thinking more from the perspective of the actresses, right?
although, having seen a bit of Buffy on TV, I guess the prize would actually have to go to the bloke who does her stunts.
Faith's stunt double on Buffy was Karen Shepherd. Who also doubled for Nia Peebles in Walker Texas Ranger. And who proper kicked Cyndi Pass's ass in 'Mission of Justice' . And who is not a bloke. ;)
Scarlet has the lead at the moment I see!
Wait, so does that make her the most popular choice or the least?
Nice post Ed. I liked your analysis a lot, without necessarily agreeing with all the outcomes. Nonetheless they made for a nice read and in particular I had a good laugh at the idea of Faith/Eliza beating Scarlet/Widow, although, having seen a bit of Buffy on TV, I guess the prize would actually have to go to the bloke who does her stunts.
Scarlet has the lead at the moment I see!
Hold on, I'm confused. So is that "least like to be faced with", on the basis that she would be the toughest and therefore hurt you the most? Cos surely on that basis, most of the guys here would actually want to be confronted by that woman. I'm assuming that the woman they would want to face the least would actually be who they perceive to be the weakest of the list, right?
Aaaaaaanyway, naturally I can't vote on that basis. But let's make things more interesting and turn this into a little Hollywood Action Heroine F/F tournament to establish the kick-assiest babe…
Scarlet/Natasha vs Charlize/Æon Flux
Gotta go with the Black Widow on this one. She was kicking ass when Æon was just a twinkle in Daddy Flux's eye. And the original Æon was actually a bit of a Kenny McCormick in the animated series, dieing on a regular basis.
Kate/Selene vs Summer/River
Hmm. Selene's got the vamp strength, and River didn't get kick-ass till Firefly hit the big screen (and no Cyberdyne systems helping out Summer in this one). However, when River did start kicking ass, she kicked it big style and anyone that can take out a horde of reavers single handedly probably wouldn't struggle too much with a hot vampire babe. So this one goes to the kooky kick-asser.
Angelina/Lara vs Jennifer/Elektra
If this was Lara vs Sydney Bristow, it'd be no contest. Or Lara vs Elektra from the comics. But movie Elektra was just so, so awful that Lara would probably edge this one, despite not really being much of an ass-kicker herself (in terms of fighting - she's more about the pistols, most of the time).
OK, with only 6 options, I'm kinda stuck for a semi-final now, ain't I? Unless we have a 3 way final? Nah, let's just put two more names in the mix. And given that I'm making up me own rules here, let's open it up to TV kick-assers too. With that in mind…
Yvonne Strahovski/Sarah Walker vs Eliza Dushku/Faith Lehane
See, now I should have incorporated these two into the contest earleir cos this match up feels like it should be the final. But I ain't gonna go back and change all me previous results now so it's gonna have to be between probably the two hottest ass-kicking ladies ever seen. And if this was just down to hotness, I think Walker/Strahovski would have this one in the bag.. just. But Eliza generally plays the bad girl, and Faith is the epitome of that (I know she basically reformed on the show/in the comics, but come on…it's a safe bet, Faith would be a BAK girl rather than joining the forces of KAK!)
So with the bad girl factor in Eliza's favour, plus the fact that we can't ignore the fact that Sarah's ass-kicking duties have been severely diminished in Chuck these last two years, then it's Faith roundhouse kicking her way into the semi final, via Sarah Walker's face. Kershmack, yes?
Scarlet/Black Widow vs Summer/River
Tough one. Widow's all about the extensive training and River's more about her natural/augmented ability. River is clearly a formidable opponent, as the hero of Canton will testify to - but Natasha's faced and defeated numerous bad guys (and good guys!) in the Marvel Universe, many of whom have been super-powered. So as much as I'd have liked an all Whedon final, this one is going to Natasha.
Angelina/Lara vs Eliza/Faith
Yeah, this is gonna be less a match and more a one-sided smackdown. Lara might be able to take down the occasional T-Rex and Shark but against a slayer? And a morally ambiguous slayer at that? Game over for Lara.
Scarlet/Black Widow vs Eliza/Faith
It's two bad girls gone good for the our final match. Faith has the strength here; Widow again has the experience. This time, though, I don't think that's gonna be enough. After all, Faith has held her own against Angel and he's even older than Miss Romanoff. Plus, I think Faith still wears her 'bad girl' on her sleeve and would be more inclined to go that extra mile to do whatever it took to win. It would be an epic contest, but eventually it'll be Faith who squishes the Widow.
So, after a very close finale, my answer to a question that wasn't actually asked is a character/actress who wasn't even on the original list of the question that was asked.
That's half an hour well spent!
for me i choose kate beckinsale aka selene
Great question! I think i'd go for Charlize, as she looks like Mrs Kandyman.
scarlet johanssen FTW