Hotel Kick Ass: starring Kix and Vixen by Mooncatt

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    “You’re kidding, right?” wasn’t exactly the reaction Alice had been expecting from the latecomer from the catering agency. She gently rubbed the bridge of her nose and up between her eyes with her thumb and forefinger before replacing her glasses and doing her best to smile. “I know it’s a little short and revealing but his Highness is paying all you girls very well for a few hours work”. Vixen held the black Maids uniform up against her toned body and looked down at the flimsy, tiny piece of material with disgust.

    Alice waited patiently for the blonde girl to decide if she was going to play ball and keep quiet, or was she going to condemn Alice to another two hours phoning round the catering agencies to find another replacement for the usually reliable Meagan.Poor Meagan, she thought. Coming down with Swine Flu, the night before a Saudi Royal held a party at the Hotel. Of course the truth was Meagan didn’t have swine flu at all. But the symptoms from the spiked coffee she had drunk yesterday would be enough to keep her at home in bed till the weekend. And the call for her replacement had been intercepted and routed through to Kandy HQ. And Alice was busy enough in her role of events organiser for the hotel not to question the fact she had never heard of Kandy Catering before. She was just pleased to get hold of someone with waitress experience as quickly as she did.

    Vixen on the other hand was less than enthusiastic about the whole idea. And being presented with what she could only describe as a fetish French maids outfit as her uniform for the evening wasn’t helping matters. Alice watched as the attractive young blonde wandered off to get changed and she tried to focus her tired mind back onto the evening’s events. Prince Arhmed would be arriving any minute and his personal security were already swarming all over the function room, checking everything was secure and that the place was ready for the first of the guests to arrive.

    Alice checked the list of arrivals, the names read like a guide to the wealth and nobility of Europe. She knew the pressure was on and she was determined that nothing was going to spoil the evening. Something like this could mean a hell of a lot of business for the hotel and she wanted to make sure her name was attached to everything good about tonight. Vixen looked herself up and down in the full length mirror which hung from the back of the door in the staff changing rooms. The maids outfit fitted her snugly and showed off her perfect figure. The hem of the outfit barely covered her backside and she was glad she had chosen to wear French knickers when she’d gotten dressed today. She noticed some of the other girls desperately trying to pull their uniforms down to cover their modesty. There were certainly a few of them who were regretting wearing thongs today.
    She allowed herself a little giggle at their discomfort and then immediately felt guilty.

    “I wonder if The Kandyman knew about the uniform before assigning me this job?”, she wondered to herself. Deciding he probably had she made a mental note to hide his laptop next time she was called into his office before heading towards the door.

    mooncatt Aug 12th 2009
    As she made her way down the corridor she counted six wolf whistles and three “How You Doing Babe’s” before she reached the foyer. One of the bell boys was actually drooling, she was convinced of it.

    She moved briskly towards the function room, doing her best to ignore the looks from both men and women. As she neared her destination, the lift chimed and the ornate wooded doors slid open to reveal an elderly man wearing an RAF blazer being pushed along in a wheelchair by a Nurse. Although this Nurse wouldn’t have looked out of place in one of those seedy, seventies sexploitation films. Confessions of a Nympho Nurse sprang to mind, although Vixen was fairly certain she had just made that title up. But it certainly accurately fitted the stunning girl pushing the gruff looking pensioner towards the bar area. Vixen stopped and put her hands on her hips, smiling at the Nurse as she approached.

    Agent xxx returned the smile and eyed up Vixens strong, tanned legs. “Nice Outfit Honey”, she mouthed at her friend and colleague. Vixen grinned, something told her that Triple X had supplied her own uniform for the evening. It was a tiny light blue one piece uniform that was struggling to cover Triple X’s firm backside, whilst losing the battle to contain her ample, pert breasts from spilling out. The dark blue cape hung across her shoulders and her neatly bobbed blonde hair was covered beneath her white Nurses hat. Vixen had to admit that her friend looked absolutely stunning, even if the whole ensemble was certainly and fittingly a little x rated.

    She began to feel a little less grumpy about her own clothing predicament, then she turned round to see the bellboy from before slumped against the hotel reception desk, whilst a rather plump, middle aged woman in hotel uniform fished around in his waistcoat pockets for his asthma inhaler. This was going to be a long night, she knew it.

    mooncatt Aug 12th 2009 edited
    As Triple X passed her, the elderly man stared at Vixens firm legs and backside before shouting “Bloody Hell, another brazen hussy with no shame, in my day you’d have been spending the night in the cells for soliciting”. He folded his arms indignantly and harrumphed loudly. “Shut up you old git or I’ll stand on your pacemaker”, said XXX through clenched teeth. “Take me over there” he said pointing towards a television near the casino area. “I want to know how Surrey got on against Kent today”. She wheeled him over towards the screen and positioned herself so that she could see into the function room.

    As she leant round the crotchety old man to apply the wheelchairs brakes she did her best to remain genial. “I’ll have to be careful not to lean over in front of you too much this evening, don’t want you catching a glimpse of my knickers and getting the wrong idea do we you miserable old goat” she said. “Ha, it’s nothing I haven’t seen before my dear”. XXX smiled as she moved round in front of him to straighten his tie and brush off some dust from his otherwise immaculate blazer. “Yes, but that was surely a long time ago Group Captain?” she said. “Not at all my dear” he replied “It was just now in the lift when I dropped my glasses and you bent over to pick them up” he laughed out loud, rather pleased with himself that he could still out fox this young whipper snapper of a girl. Triple X put her hands on her hips and scowled at him. “When I get hold of the Kandyman”, she thought to herself. Â

    As she looked up she could see Vixen mingling with the other girls in the main hall. She was going to have to remember to ask her young friend to keep that uniform, she could have a lot of fun with that. Vixen was not impressed. She was not impressed with this assignment, she was less than impressed with the outfit and she was most definitely not impressed with being handed a silver tray and told to fill it up with champagne glasses and start offering them round to the guests, the first of whom were now arriving.Â

    She wandered casually around the room, eyeing up the guests who were flaunting their wealth and status. She had always despised people like this and being made to feel subservient to them wasn’t doing anything to lift her mood. After nearly an hour, a great fanfare of noise heralded the arrival of Prince Arhmed.As his security swept into the room she caught her first glimpse of the Prince and her mood began to lift a little. He was very handsome, about six feet tall and carried himself in the way a member of a royal house should do. She watched as he greeted various guests, all of whom fawned over him and vied for his attention.

    As she stood observing him she suddenly became aware of an over weight, upper class middle aged woman snapping her fingers and summoning Vixen over towards her. The young blonde sighed to herself and moved closer to the massive woman. “Would you like a drink madam?” she said as genially as possible.

    The woman looked Vixen up and down with an expression of disgust and snorted at her “What is it girl?”. Vixen gritted her teeth and replied “A drink? It’s a wet thing in a glass that you pour down your neck when you’re thirsty”. The posh woman glared at Vixen and fixed her with a steely gaze. “I meant what sort of drink is it you idiotic fool”. Vixen grinned “It’s champagne madam”. The woman tutted and waved her hand dismissively. “I can’t drink Champagne you idiot girl, fetch me something else”, replied the annoying woman. “And what would madam prefer?” Vixen enquired as she mentally pummelled the woman. “Do I have to do all your thinking for you girl” “Fetch me something for my throat or I’ll have you dismissed and sent home in disgrace” yelled the fat old woman. Vixen smiled before replying, “Something for your throat madam?, Certainly, I shall fetch you a knife”.

    But before the woman could react to this young, undisciplined girl a shot rang out, echoing round the ball room. As the guests screamed in terror, several armed men ran into the room, all of whom wearing waiters outfits. The attack had taken the Princes guards by total surprise and before they could react, each of them had been disarmed and were now being beaten and corralled into one corner of the room.

    The men ordered everyone to move into the opposite corner and several of the male guests made an attempt to hide the Prince, but he was a brave man and wasn’t going to let any of his guests or friends be injured on his account. He stood firm at the front of the group and stared defiantly at the aggressors. Vixen moved quickly as close as possible to him, without drawing too much attention from the armed men.

    mooncatt Aug 12th 2009 edited
    Across the foyer Triple X and the Group Captain heard the shot ring out and both reacted immediately. “Germans”, shouted the elderly man. “Egyptians actually”, replied XXX.“Bastards” said the Captain. “Met some of their sort in ’44, fought along side Gerry you know, changed sides depending on who was winning. Or maybe that was the Italians”.
    “Shut up” said XXX as she took the brakes off his wheel chair and hurried towards the now closing doors to the function room. “It might have been the French actually”, said the Captain. They reached the entrance just as the doors were almost closed and XXX rammed the wheelchair into the gap.

    The Captain yelled out in pain and reminded XXX that she was only a temporary replacement for his usual Nurse Maureen. He leant forwards and shoved the doors open, catching one of the armed men full in the face and sending him sprawling backwards. Triple X wheeled him into the room and quickly parked him next to a table of canapés. “Ooh marvellous, haven’t eaten since breakfast what with looking at your wonderful breasts all day”, he said as he helped himself to a plate of very expensive food.Â

    The general confusion levels in the room were already at a record high, but they soon went up as Triple X and the Captain barged through the doors. As she entered the room, she swiftly removed her cape and began a tactical assessment of the situation.There seven armed men all in all, including the one flattened by their arrival.

    She could see Vixen in position to guard the Prince and she knew she could finally go to work. As the nearest of the men turned to her, Triple X kicked the barrel of his machine gun away from her and punched him hard on the nose. He fell backwards, blood pouring down his face. A second man approached her and she span around, swiftly delivering a karate chop to his neck. She quickly brought her knee up into his ribs and smashed her fist down across the back of his neck.

    He crumbled to the floor and she kicked him in the head. Â By now the men were gathering their senses and one of the ones guarding the Princes security detachment turned and aimed his gun directly at Triple X. Deciding it was time to join the fight, Vixen flipped herself over into a cartwheel and span towards the man. He turned just in time for her to hit him square on as she came out of the cartwheel and using her momentum, she jumped up and wrapped her strong, toned legs around his head.Â

    His face was momentarily buried into her black French knickers before her weight and movement caused him to tumble backwards, dropping his gun on the way down.As he landed on his back, Vixen placed one hand on his upper chest and pushed herself off him, quickly bringing the other hand down and punching him hard in the face twice.

    The first blow shattered his nose, the second took out six teeth.

    mooncatt Aug 12th 2009
    One of his colleagues moved to help him and was met by a stunning high kick to the chin. His head snapped back with a sickening crunch. Vixen followed it up with a roundhouse kick to the back of his neck, sending him crashing forwards into a table full of empty glasses, most of which broke and cut him as he landed.

    Vixen turned to see Triple X bring her knee up violently into the groin of an unfortunate terrorist, before she slammed his head down onto a nearby fireplace. He crumpled to the floor and groaned loudly. Vixen moved to join her friend, “Shall we finish this lot off or are you still having fun?” she asked. “Well much as I’m enjoying this I did want to watch that programme on BBC2 tonight where Michael Heseltine visits various windmills in Holland”, replied the little blonde. Vixen smiled and nodded.

    The two sexy young girls turned to see the last remaining terrorists. Two were making towards their now discarded guns, whilst the third was picking himself up over by the main door. As the two men reached their weapons Vixen and Triple X ran towards them and simultaneously jumped in the air and twisted round, delivering a powerful kick to each mans face. The two men fell backwards next to each other and laid flat on their backs.

     Before they could recover enough to move Vixen and XXX dropped down on top of them, sitting on their chests and squeezing the men’s vulnerable necks between their soft, silky smooth thighs. The two girls looked up, ignoring the desperate choking sounds coming from beneath them as the third man reached his gun. They knew there was no way of reaching him before he got off at least one shot. Just then an empty champagne bottle arced through the air and caught the man a glancing blow across the temple. He crumbled to the floor, landing on his back. The two agents looked over at the direction the missile had come from to see the Group Captain grinning back at them. “Glad to be of assistance ladies”, he said with a wave of his hand.

    As they looked back towards the last of the fallen men, the posh, rather dumpy woman from earlier hurried forwards and dropped her massive bulk onto the unfortunate man. She came to rest sitting astride him looking towards his feet, his face disappearing under her hefty backside as she smothered him into submission.

    His legs desperately flailing round, but there was no way of unseating the posh woman. She smiled and gave a hopeful thumbs up to the two giggling agents. Vixen and XXX exchanged a quick knowing glance before both raising their right arms and delivering a knockout blow to the two men pinned helplessly beneath them.

    mooncatt Aug 12th 2009
    The Prince stepped forwards and half turned to the men nearest him, “I know who got the best deal there”, he said as the men all grinned and nodded in agreement. In all his days Prince Arhmed had never seen such a thing and he would exchange all his wealth to have two such beautiful, sexy and deadly bodyguards.

    He looked at Vixen in her black Maids outfit and XXX in her blue Nurses uniform and his eyes were drawn downwards to where the girls outfits had ridden up revealing Vixens black knickers and Triple X’s white ones, he was finding it difficult to concentrate. He offered a hand to each girl and helped them up. They both accepted, smiled at him and bowed.

    “Thank you ladies from the bottom of my heart, I shall forever be in your debt” “I assume I must also thank The Kandyman?” he enquired. The two young agents both put their fingers to their lips and headed for the door. As the Princes security detail removed the terrorists from the room and made the guns safe the Prince sighed to himself. If only he could meet such women under normal circumstances.

    As Vixen and Triple X left the hotel a black limo pulled up and they climbed in. there was a bottle of champagne on ice waiting for them and a note saying well done, signed by the Kandyman. As the car drove off they afforded one last glance at the hotel and were greeted by the sight of the large posh woman wheeling the Group Captain towards the bar. The two girls laughed out loud and each took a sip from their champagne.Â

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